Milestones 2

[lhexa]

So, after a weekend where I felt ready to quit graduate school (thanks Spotty and Whines for being there for me during an emotional collapse), I ended up giving my first ever real presentation Wednesday morning, about the Hamiltonian formalism for photons. The presentation is a weekly one in which members of the group fill the rest in on their research, and I volunteered for it two weeks ago -- whether an ordeal or not, it's a good idea not to be forced into such things. The presentation went fairly well, and hopefully all future ones will be easier on me emotionally. Thankfully, I took the opportunity to practice it the night before, which helped me considerably when it came to facing down postdocs ready to question the entire validity of my approach.

What I considered the centerpiece of the presentation, a derivation of the photon Hamilton equations from the assumption of stationary phase using a variational method, was stopped two-thirds of the way through by my professor, who said everyone there (a dozen-and-a-half graduate students and postdocs) should know how to do it already. (As it happens, later on one of the graduate students asked me how I got the equations of motion anyway.) Lots of good questions were asked, though for some of these questions I only thought of answers after the presentation. Clearly I need to work more on giving an overview of my work, and connecting it to current research. But, once again, hooray for milestones, and now it's relatively easy going until qualifiers.

Comments

[spottylogic.livejournal.com]

Are you absolutely sure Hamiltonian formalism isn't a poetic structure? It sounds like it. One of the "new formalisms" of the post-post free-verse literary world. Excellent, though, I'm very glad to hear it was a rewarding presentation!

[lhexa.livejournal.com]

Well, it's certainly poetic, as it turns momentum and energy into complements of space and time, respectively. Thanks for responding. :)

[khyle.livejournal.com]

Well I am glad that you haven't chosen to quit graduate school. I'm sorry to hear that you were having some issues though... *hugs* I'm glad that the presentation went well. I wish you the best! :)

[lhexa.livejournal.com]

Thanks, it's good to hear.

[celyddon.livejournal.com]

Public speaking is never fun, particularly in front of a group of informed peers. When I was in college, one of the hardest things I had to do was teach a lesson to my peers--as if they were kindergarten children.

[lhexa.livejournal.com]

I did that in my first year, and it wasn't as rough as this month's presentation. Still, at least I can assume that the first of these is the worst.

[broken-bokken.livejournal.com]

Isn't it ironic that the harder task at hand isn't reconciling the inner secrets of the universe on a level more complex than all but a tiny fraction of our species has a snowball's chance in hell of understanding, but getting up in front of a bunch of people and talking about it? That's why I hate universities...sounds like you did fine, though. Are you going to write/email/talk to the people who had questions you couldn't answer and give them your replies now that you have them? In the old days, physicists seemed to correspond mostly through letters, which gives a person a little more time to think than an on-the-spot question...sounds like your professor's being kind of a dick assuming everyone's on the same page concerning the conditions under which you're calculating motion--I wouldn't worry about it too much considering he was obviously wrong if someone asked you about it afterwards.
At any rate, good job--wish I had the knowledge to comprehend it all!

[lhexa.livejournal.com]

Heh, no, the reconciliation is still harder. It just doesn't play to human weaknesses.

It would be a good idea to answer those questions in person, even though I'm followed by the feeling that the act would be superfluous.

The professor was justified in his objection, since I was mistaken about the objective of the presentation. These meetings are intended to fill the rest of the group in on the members' progress, not to teach them.

If your daily life becomes less overwhelming, you might still find the opportunity to increase your understanding of physics.