Touchy circumstances
Sep. 22nd, 2004 10:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lhexaI am in an uncomfortable position with a girl I know who is only three-quarters my age. Sex -- and I hope, infatuation -- are not involved, but the situation as it stands is far beyond my experience. The second time I saw her, the first time in her house, she offered to move with me to Chicago come spring, said that all her friends had betrayed her trust at some point (she thought and thinks the same won't be true of me) and as I was leaving she hinted heavily that she might be dead by her own hand before I returned.
Curiosity put me in this situation. She showed up without any warning on my doorstep, said she was Wiccan, said that something had been draining her power for about a year, and thought that I would be able to do something about it. Because I was (and am) still at the stage where any verification of the existence of magic is longed-for verification, I walked with her for a distance to hear what she had to say, and agreed to come over later.
There is something for which she has requested secrecy, which I will not relate; nevertheless, I wonder whether I am abusing her trust for saying what I am saying. But she has sometimes acted dependent enough that her emotional problems might as well be mine, and I earnestly want others' opinions about what to do. My therapist (yes, I have one, and as far as I can tell he's a good one) advised firmly telling her off, but I don't want to do that when the girl has abandonment issues.
Right now there're none of the frightening offers or insinuations of the first couple of talks, and I'm down to seeing her once per week, but even with things calmed down I'm at a loss at what to do. I've tried getting the point across that while I care enough about her to not want her to commit suicide, I don't care enough to build a real friendship. She hasn't acknowledged this, and I'm nervous about pressing the issue.
Curiosity put me in this situation. She showed up without any warning on my doorstep, said she was Wiccan, said that something had been draining her power for about a year, and thought that I would be able to do something about it. Because I was (and am) still at the stage where any verification of the existence of magic is longed-for verification, I walked with her for a distance to hear what she had to say, and agreed to come over later.
There is something for which she has requested secrecy, which I will not relate; nevertheless, I wonder whether I am abusing her trust for saying what I am saying. But she has sometimes acted dependent enough that her emotional problems might as well be mine, and I earnestly want others' opinions about what to do. My therapist (yes, I have one, and as far as I can tell he's a good one) advised firmly telling her off, but I don't want to do that when the girl has abandonment issues.
Right now there're none of the frightening offers or insinuations of the first couple of talks, and I'm down to seeing her once per week, but even with things calmed down I'm at a loss at what to do. I've tried getting the point across that while I care enough about her to not want her to commit suicide, I don't care enough to build a real friendship. She hasn't acknowledged this, and I'm nervous about pressing the issue.
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