(no subject)

[lhexa]

Cute stories about dogs aside, I'm fucking sick of myself. Ask and I'll tell you just what a child I am.

Comments

[raki.livejournal.com]

Perhaps get out of your own head for a bit?

[lhexa.livejournal.com]

I think you have a way of proposing stopgap solutions, and temporary outlets, as effective solutions for deep and abiding emotional problems. I don't know whether you're the same way to yourself. But I've gotten out of my own head before. And I've always fallen right back in.

[raki.livejournal.com]

No, the point is to get out of your own head long enough to no longer feel sick of yourself. Then work on long-term stuff. "Feeling sick of yourself" doesn't last, IME.

I don't think you're really in a position to tell me what kinds of solutions I tend to propose.

[lhexa.livejournal.com]

Nothing good can happen here. I'm composing an email to you. Wait for it or not.

[lhexa.livejournal.com]

I apologize for my rudeness. I should have referred only to what advice you gave to me. But you really have no way of knowing what I've tried.

[lhexa.livejournal.com]

Another apology: I made the post in order to provoke you, and anyone else reading, into asking. And I replied out of bitterness that you didn't, that I would have to wait. A few hours later and I was grinding my forehead into my palms, saying, "Lhexa, you idiot, never wait for the other person to ask."

[raki.livejournal.com]

Not giving someone the information they need to help you is manipulative.

[lhexa.livejournal.com]

No. Sometimes it's just helpless.

[lhexa.livejournal.com]

It wasn't in my case. Just ineptness.

[raki.livejournal.com]

That can obscure a lot.

[lhexa.livejournal.com]

Apology number three: I've got to ignore the specific things you say and think about the broader recommendation. Also, I find it aggravating to be advised to do exactly what I've been trying to do, and finding it extremely difficult to do, for months or longer.

[raki.livejournal.com]

Then say so and try to understand why it didn't work?

[lhexa.livejournal.com]

Also, can't forget being too proud to realize I'm so inept. Or having my arrogance accompanied by a civility so well-developed that people couldn't see that I was arrogant. Or having an ego so big that it makes me think I'm above bragging.

[lhexa.livejournal.com]

Done and done.

[lhexa.livejournal.com]

Thanks for asking how I was doing. And, well, the best thing I can say is that receiving advice stirred up enough to confuse me.

[raki.livejournal.com]

Land (http://www.weyr.org/~raki/words/land.html).

[lhexa.livejournal.com]

Error 404: Simple mistake prevents moment of profundity.

[lhexa.livejournal.com]

Land. (http://www.oceanstar.com/patti/lyrics/land.htm)

[lhexa.livejournal.com]

You maniac. I had that song stuck in my head for weeks.

[raki.livejournal.com]

Sorry, Landing (http://www.weyr.org/~raki/words/landing.html). And yes, it has become a kind of mania for me.

[lhexa.livejournal.com]

Lhexa, you idiot, you could admit so many things to yourself, but you couldn't admit that you were confused!