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[lhexa]

So, I've just gotten out of mental hospital number 3, "Green Oaks." Strange things happened there, not least of which involved me campaigning for a nine-day week, taking more than ten psychoactive drugs in one day, and me shouting "Stop" at those who are too little for us to see. I was actually getting regular feedback from them up until the point when I felt trapped once again.

Comments

[guilen.livejournal.com]

Would you ever want to stop taking those drugs? Would people let you?

I ask it sincerely.

GUILEN

[lhexa.livejournal.com]

Yes, I would like to go off the medication as soon as possible. But right now my returning to school depends on my treatment, and this "treatment" almost invariably involves psychoactive drugs.

People will let me off once both they and I are no longer in a position to make lawsuits against each other.

[guilen.livejournal.com]

I'm glad to hear that. I reaaaaally don't believe in em. heh

GUILEN

[broken-bokken.livejournal.com]

Why would someone with mental health issues be on drugs that disrupt one's perception of reality?

[lhexa.livejournal.com]

Because the drugs increase a person's receptivity to therapy. You can get a chattier and less determined person easily with the right drugs.

[broken-bokken.livejournal.com]

It seems kind of counterproductive when the drugs are creating issues faster than the therapy can resolve them.

[raki.livejournal.com]

Are you okay? How are things?

I understand if you haven't been able to post due to lack of internet access, but please keep updating. I do care about you.

[lhexa.livejournal.com]

It is. But there's a pattern that the hospitalized fall into, in which they try out different drugs trying to find the one that works, and there's no way right now to figure out in advance which psychoactive drugs will heal more than hurt.

[lhexa.livejournal.com]

During my first stay in a psychiatric ward, there was a morning group therapy in which all the patients were to announce their desires. The first half-dozen or so times, I said that I wanted to keep enjoying my mistakes. But one time I said that I wanted to keep enjoying my mistakes, I said that I had made many, and I said that I planned to remain healthy. I am happy to say that my health is still with me.

Things are very interesting over here, as though multiple, incompatible ideas of how the world works are having to coexist. I might be watching television too much, just to laugh at the absurdity and strange logic, and there were certainly times when the world has all seemed a big joke. I apologize for creeping you out (if indeed I did).

I have had Internet access continually, but there's so much to learn about my position that I haven't said much recently. After sending Guilen off I felt drowsy, and much of my more recent time has been spent watching his updates and trying to help.

I will keep updating. Thank you for your good wishes and care.

Also

[lhexa.livejournal.com]

I care about you too. It would be lying to say I'm happy with the long breaks between your posts.

Re: Also

[raki.livejournal.com]

Well, I have other things to attend to. Writing in my LJ is a very low priority at the moment.

[raki.livejournal.com]

Are you being cryptic on purpose?

I will try to answer your last email within the week, but it is a busy week and I don't know if I'll have time to devote to the task. It is a high priority, though.

Re: Also

[lhexa.livejournal.com]

Well, I can't argue with that.

[lhexa.livejournal.com]

Once again, no, I'm not being cryptic on purpose. But several times now I've found that what is written on my LiveJournal is significantly different from what I remember writing.

Thanks for telling me how you're doing. It might be greedy of me, but I hope that your busy condition doesn't last too long.

[raki.livejournal.com]

It's going to last four weeks at least, because exams are coming up. After that, I may have more time.

[lhexa.livejournal.com]

Thanks for telling me why you've been absent.